Tuesday, July 21, 2020

My Name Is Sharon

"My Name is Sharon"
By another changed life in CR, a testimony

I'm a believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with drug addiction and the consequences of sexual abuse.  My name is Sharon.

I was born into a family with 3 older siblings who are much older than me, and a twin sister.  Karon and I were the "second" family for our parents.  I grew up in a strict religious home.  My Dad was a preacher, so we were in church every time the doors opened. The family you saw at church was not the family you'd have seen at home behind closed doors.   You see, growing up, I was sexually abused by my Dad from an early age.

The first most obvious outward sign of abuse was weight gain starting in 2nd grade.  I became the chubby kid in class and I have struggled with obesity all my life. Food was becoming my first drug of choice.  My first "diet" was Weight Watchers at age 13.  I lost over 50 pounds and received a summer vacation.  By the end of the summer, I gained half of it back.  I was never the popular kid in school, being shy and overweight.  To make matters worse, we moved around often, so it was difficult to belong anywhere.

I discovered prescription drugs as early as 6th grade due to a neck injury.  I soon learned that drugs worked better than food to help me deny the fears and rejections I faced daily.  It didn't take long before I realized these drugs would help "fix" my emotional pain.  This was the beginning of a spiraling drug addiction that eventually would leave me hopeless and depressed.

When I finished college and got out on my own, I wanted nothing to do with church.  During this time I sought to fill the emptiness with my career, with food and with illegal drugs.  I became more and more withdrawn from society and withdrawn from reality. Depression and suicidal thoughts became frequent.  I went to work, but I wanted little to do with anyone.  I came home and used food and abused drugs to ease my emotional pain.

About this time, my older sister, who lived in California, told me about 12-step meetings. I went to Narcotics Anonymous.  I spent the next 10 years in secular recovery rooms learning how to work and live the 12-step program.  I took part in many aspects of recovery, getting clean and discovering who I was.

So, in God's timing, I found Celebrate Recovery.  I knew CR was the recovery program I desperately needed. CR provided me the safe place I never had before to openly express His Power in my life for healing.  It also gave me a safe place to struggle with my trust issues with God and celebrate the victories found only through Jesus Christ.

Recovery for me has been like peeling an onion... there are many layers.
Today, 
  • I am no longer the shy, withdrawn, depressed individual I once was
  • I am no longer on anti-depressant medications
  • I am finally debt free, becoming financially responsible is just one more layer of my recovery.
  • I no longer hide behind walls or fear that if you know me, you won't like me. 
  • I have 29 years free from drug addiction (one day at a time.)
  • I have surrendered 100 pounds, and still working on this aspect of recovery. 
Recovery is possible.  Please take hope in what God has done in my life.  He can do the same for you. 

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