Saturday, May 30, 2020

Five things that need to happen for you to trust


Hi everyone, 
We trust people who we know understand us, our context, our situation, our needs, what makes it work for us, and what makes it break down. When they truly understand, listen, and care, we are more than willing to open ourselves to them. Here are the ingredients for trust to take place in a relationship. 
Intent — You’ll trust when you know someone’s motives are good. 
Understanding — You’ll trust when you feel someone understands you. 
Character — You’ll trust when someone’s character reveals traits such as honesty, love, compassion, mercy, courage, patience, etc. 
Capacity and Ability — You’ll trust when someone has the ability to do what you need them to do. A surgeon, for example, should know how to perform an operation. 
Track Record —You’ll trust someone based on their past behavior. 
Here is a thought for you: When do you “invest” in someone or in anything? Answer: When you have high trust. And when you think about it, isn’t that what you want from the people in your life?
Until next time … 
Cheers, 
Henry 

Sunday, May 10, 2020

The stages to get past fear


Hi everyone, 
Many people go through a three-stage process when it comes to facing their fears. First, they fear it and put it off. Next, they push through the fear, make the decision, and it is painful. And finally, they wonder why they waited so long to make it after the pain is gone and they have resolved the problem. As these stages are internalized, and they become aware of them, it becomes easier to make these hard calls. But as long as you don't confront those uncomfortable feelings, your emotions will control your actions. Grow past the fear!

Look at what you are afraid of and get to the bottom of it. Is it failure? Is it loss of approval? It is fear of confrontation? Is it fear of causing someone distress? Is it fear of change? And remember: You can have fears without being "fearful." "Fearful" is when you let your fears make your decisions for you, so... don't let fear make your decisions for you! Having fear is normal. Being "fearful" is dysfunctional.

So, feel you fear, name it, accept it, talk it over with those you trust, and then choose to do the right thing, no matter how uncomfortable you feel. Join me here to talk more about how to face fear when it comes to saying no and setting boundaries. 
Until next time … 
Cheers, 
Henry