Saturday, December 28, 2019

Encourage yourself to change...

Hey, guys.

People will use ”should” as a strong motivator for you to change. The problem with this is the human response to “should.” When someone tells you that you “should do this or that,” because they think it’s right, you’ll want to naturally rebel. It’s the projection of shame. So, when someone tells you, “You should be good,” you will find a way to be bad. Maybe not immediately, but your mind will be inclined to reject the notion for change.

It’s amazing what happens when someone makes the shift from should, and they’re encouraged in a healthy way.

They see honesty not just as a virtue, but as they only way they’ll have intimacy.

They see confession and ownership of their faults not as something humiliating and guilt inducing, but as the way to grow and reach goals.
They see listening to feedback and correction, not as someone telling them they are bad, but as receiving a gift that will bring them life.

In other words, when someone isn’t under the shame of “should,” they see it as the way to life. Let's dive into this further.



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Friday, December 13, 2019

How using consequences saves your sanity

Hi everyone,

We must respect the freedom of others to make their own choices. If we do not respect that freedom, we will do two things:

• We will nag or otherwise try to control them, and they will begin to resent us.
• We will continually frustrate ourselves as we demand that someone be or do what we wish for them when they do not want to. When they resist, we will end up being angry, shaming, guilt-inducing, or resentful—or all of the above. This path destroys love.

The hard thing is to be honest and clear and to take responsibility for our own wishes, realizing that other people are free to do what they want. We can make our best case, we can even invoke consequences for their choices ... like letting go an employee who doesn’t want to step up and get with the program, or saying goodbye to someone who doesn’t want to commit to a relationship.

Sometimes clear consequences are the only thing that will cause someone to make a choice — whether it’s the choice we want or not. But we can’t control whether they make a choice or what choice they make. We can only be the best we can, offer them the best we have, and then allow them to choose.

Let's talk more about consequences and the law of responsibility.

Until next time ...



Friday, December 6, 2019

Taking Smart Precautions

"Taking Smart Precautions"
By Rodney Holmstrom, National Field Director

"God remains in us and his love in us is made complete."1 John 4:12 CEV

Are the Holidays tough for you? I know for some they can be very difficult.

When things get tough, the temptation is to isolate.
Everything inside of us might be saying that is the best solution, but we must not listen to that lie.  When I isolate in my pain, then the light begins to fade. This wrong choice can lead to making additional wrong choices. However, when I choose to make healthy choices, such as getting myself to stay in community even when I don't "feel" like it, making meetings, calling my accountability team, and spending time with God daily, that's when the light starts getting brighter.

So, if we know that we tend to isolate by our very nature, why not be proactive this holiday season?
When the weather man says, "Folks, there is a hurricane moving in, you need to take precautions", the right thing to do is to take precautions. The wrong choice would be to wait for the storm to hit and then react.
Let's make a choice this holiday season to take precautions and make the right proactive choices. Someone once said, "Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment."
Let's make the next right choice this season by planning ahead for any storm on the horizon. The Father is our refuge and ever present help in time of need.

A word of encouragement from Pastor Rick Warren: "You are not an accident. Your birth was no mistake or mishap, and your life is no fluke of nature."
Let's live with an intentional plan of action. Never discount the fact that your presence, your phone call, your visit with a friend may be just what "they" needed too.