Hi,
everyone.
You
need to depend on others to help you set and keep your boundaries.
People subject to another person’s addictions, control or abuse are
finding that after years of “loving too much,” they can find the
ability to create boundaries only through a support group. Their
support system is giving them the strength to say no to abuse and
control for the first time in their lives.
There
are two reasons why you need others to help you with boundaries. The
first is that your most basic need in life is for relationship. Many
put up with abuse because they fear their partners will leave them,
and they will be alone if they stand up to them. Fear of being alone
keeps many in hurtful patterns for years. They are afraid that if
they set boundaries, they will not have any love in their
lives.
When
they open themselves up to support from others, however, they find
that the abusive persons are not the only source of love in the
world, and that they can find the strength through their support
systems to set the limits they need to set.
The
other reason we need others is that we need new input and teaching.
Many people have been taught that boundaries are bad, mean or
selfish. In the church, some have said that boundaries are not
biblical. (Not true!) Supportive people will help us to stand against
the old messages and the guilt involved in change.
Until
next time …
Cheers,
Henry
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