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From Dr. Henry Cloud, 3/20/2019 |
Hey,
guys.
In the following situation, we’re talking about someone who
uses control and manipulation to get what they want out of selfishness. This
doesn’t necessarily apply to relationships where abuse is present. If you are
in a relationship where abuse is present, please talk to your local
authorities for additional help.
In one of my seminars, a woman once asked, “How do you deal
with controlling people?”
“You convert them,” I said.
You convert them from being controlling to being frustrated.
The only way people can be controlling is for you to do what they want.
Here’s what happens: They get angry, or use guilt, or get pushy, and you give
in. If you say no to them and do not do what they are demanding, then they
have no control over you. They become frustrated as they try to get control of you. You have
converted them from being controlling to being frustrated simply by not
giving in to their demands.
You can try saying something like this:
Don’t return anger with anger, but don’t give in either. I
know there is a lot more that can be said here, but I hope this gives you
something to reflect on and offers some encouragement.
Still want to know more? Let's talk about it here.
Cheers,
Henry
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