Through tragedy we learn that when bad things happen, we can get through them. That knowledge then gives us the next time tragedy strikes. Our spiritual lives give us the strength to move on and give us other people to help us, which is critical because grief can only be accomplished in the context of relationship. We need others to hold us as we go through the process of letting down and letting go because we must have something good in hand to be able to let go of something bad. It’s a little like being a trapeze artist: We can only let go of one trapeze if another is in view.
Since grief is absolutely necessary for moving through life, and since it is an essential part of the growth process, we have to make sure it happens well in our life and in the lives of those we love. The only way it can happen well is in relationship — the way it was designed to work. It is the reason tear ducts are in the corners of the eyes. Someone’s grief should be evident as he or she looks into the eyes of another person. It’s a relational process. Relationships provide care, support, structure and the balm of love to heal hurts. Get people grieving correctly — with other people — and they can get on with life. Grieving cures pain.
Let’s talk more about what is needed to grieve.
Until next time …