Basic trust is the ability to invest oneself in a relationship. We must first experience many instances of trustworthiness before we can truly trust others. We aren’t born trusting; trust is learned. Trust enables us to reach out, to depend, to need and to see others as the source of good things. We can depend on our caretakers — when we reach out, he/she will be there, and he/she will respond to our needs.
When we trust someone, we invest something of ourselves and hope for a good return. If we invest our money, we want safety and dividends. With a good relationship, we invest our hearts and our being and find a good return, which leads us to invest again and again in relationships. Trust nurtures our ability to need and to depend, which allows us to grow and develop relationally. We need to need, and we need to feel comfortable with dependency. Healthy people let themselves need and depend on others without fear.
Let’s talk more about when it’s ok to trust after trust has been broken.
Until next time …